Thursday, February 25, 2016

Loss, knitting and whatsit

Since my last post my mum passed away. It sort of knocked  me off my feet, and blogging about it or anything at all didn't feel like an option. This was in September, and since then I've gone through all the rather unreal and disturbing things one has to do after a parent dies. Holding the funeral, going through her things, clearing out her house and putting it up for sale. All very emotional and hard, and introducing me to aspects of myself I don't much like. Like impatience with family members, developing a temper and snapping at people. I've not seen that side of myself since I was a teenager, and thought it was gone. Not so. Rather embarrassing, really. It didn't last, but it's still nagging away at me.

My mum collected vintage ornamental plates, coffee grinders and cream and sugar dishes. She must have had between 50 and 100 of the cream and sugar sets, all neatly displayed in glass cabinets. She also collected table cloths and, well, all sorts of things, really. I kept a few things, let the family take whatever they wanted and gave the rest away to charity.The feeling I'm left with is I suppose not a new one, but it felt wrong to go through her possessions, divide them into things to keep and give away, and dismember her life in such a way. It also made me think about my own collections. My books, fabrics and yarn, my collection of vintage clothes and jewellery. Much of it I don't even wear, which is really such a waste. I've decided to do my best to give these things an airing, and keep track of the things I never wear. If I still haven't worn them in a year (this goes for everyday fashions and jewellery, obviously party dresses are exempt) they'll go to charity.

I've also started knitting up the things I've wanted for years. Why wait? It's not as if we're guaranteed to live to a ripe old age any of us.

With this in mind here's a jumper I finished around Christmas. I used a free pattern from Trove, and it turned out very well :)


  1. I am very sorry for your loss, and understand your feelings about the process. I dread the day I will have to go through the same. And you're right, there's no point in waiting to do things you'd like. We never know how long we've got. the jumper looks gorgeous, I really like the patterning :) Well done!

    PS: the crinoline boning arrived safely, I think I forgot to let you know in all the excitement :) Thanks again. I am down in the dumps, creative wise, but hopefully I can drag myself out of it and put it to good use.

  2. Thanks for your kind words :) I've been knitting away every day since she died, and found that it actually has a soothing effect. I've heard it said before, but didn't really believe it until I experienced it myself. I finished a cardigan and a pair of gloves around the funeral, and since then I've completed 2 jumpers, a tea cosy, and lots of other small things.

    I'm glad to hear the boning arrived safely. Even if you don't feel like crafting at the moment it will still be there when you do :)

  3. Hi Suna,

    I'm just catching up on my blogs and saw this post. I hope you're feeling as okay as you can - my mother-in-law died last year, and I know grieving is a long and horrible process. It can't be hurried out of the way or ignored, it just has to be lived through. I know what you mean about the process of finding new homes for someone's possessions feeling strange; I found myself mentally rebelling and thinking, "This is all that's left of her life, I can't do this!" and wishing it was all finished so we could try to move on, then coming home and looking at my own possessions anew. So you are not alone! I hope you are surrounded with kind and understanding people in your real life.

    Your jumper is beautiful.

    1. Hi Mim,
      Thanks for your kind comment. It gets better, but there are still times when I get confronted with it all and it hits me hard. I'm lucky enough to have a very sweet and understanding husband and good friends, but yes, it's hard. I hope you're alright, I know it can take a very long time to work through loosing a loved one. My granny died in 2003, and it took me years to get to grips with it.

    2. It's hit my husband hardest, of course, but I'm surprised by how much it has affected me. I do feel as though getting through Christmas was a real milestone.

      It's good to hear that your husband and friends are all around you. With mine, even when I couldn't lessen his grief, at least I could make his life easier so he didn't have to deal with trivia on top of the grief!

  4. With all my heart, I am truly sorry for your (and your family's) tragic loss.

    My thoughts, heart and prayers are with you.

    Many hugs & wishes of serenity,
    ♥ Jessica